today is sunday. sunday should be an enjoyable day instead of staying home and rot. well yea im suppose to study but nothing can go inside my head on
weekends. well yea i tried several times forcing myself to study but well, no knowledge could enter my lil pea brain. last night, i came home around 11plus and my mom threatened to lock me outta house for one week. then i was thinking where can i go to? prolly terry's house. but i guess he wont allow me to stay there as well, hes a stingy pig. sighh i miss so much. its been like 2 weeks since we broke up. i know hes having lots of fun, but im not cos life just isnt the same no matter how hard ive tried to get it back on track. sometimes i think i can really try to forget bout it but most of the times, i just fucking miss him so much that im going crazy. saturdays i like to go out enjoy but sundays i stay at home and force myself to study. sighh life is so different now. it has already been 2 weeks so i dont think theres any chance of us getting back together again. hes prolly forgotten clean bout me. we sort of less contact of each other and i dont even see him at all even tho we stay so near. maybe hes right, staying too near each other is a big disadvantage. tho its like we can see each other everyday, but whats the point. prolly we should be like terry and adeline. able to cope wit working hours and meeting times. the only thing i hate bout terry is that he lied to adeline bout not smoking anymore. tskk i wanna keep myself very very busy so that i wont have extra time to think bout those things and i wont get upset or the heartaches. i tried looking for part time jobs but most of them wants full time. so im trying to find odd jobs like giving out flyers, to pass time as well as to clear off my debt fast. i should study, study study but why am i thinking bout taking up jobs at this time. sigh i need to clear off my debt. i need to. but yes thats not the only reason. sigh i fucking miss him so damn much. can someone
please help me untie the knot in my heart? who could either than him?
