[02:15:46] if its meant to be, it'll come back you'll see

my heart was broken into hundred millions of pieces last night. i thought there was some hope for us, for our relationship at the least. but no. now i think its completely gone. ive this feeling. like its completely gone. cos he wants to stay away from me until the time is right to be friends. he wants the feeling he has for me to go away. those words were very hurting to me. but when he said that, i didnt cry. prolly my mind was too tired last night to absorb all those as well as to cry. i jolted from my sleep couple of times. and everytime i wake up, i thought of what he said. i think it'll take me days to try calm myself down again. this is just like another big blow to me. he isnt willing to give this relationship another go. i think i was too much a terror in the past and that theres nothing i can do now to save all these. i dont like weekends now. in the past, i always love looking forward to weekends as i can enjoy the weekends out wit him but now? yes ive my friend but they arent always that free for me. even davin doesnt wants to talk to me cos he dont want to keep reminding me of him. i think at this point of life. my life is at the worst state and moreover my exams are coming. sighs i guess the only thing now i can do is to try and try and try my best to concentrate on my studies and spend more time wit my friends. i hope he wont try to forget me. just let it be. i wont force it either. prolly, i'll just wait and i mean it, im gonna wait. dont know how long its gonna take or hes prolly gonna forget bout me but ive no choice but to wait. i hope this all is meant to be. someday, i dont know when, i hope we can start back as friends again. sighs, the more i think, the more i regret what i did in the past. well, its all over now. it isnt easy for me to take this. but i'll try. i wont forget him, neither will i hate him. sighs.

one last call for alcohol 10:11:00 AM